be careful what you ask for, you may get it and ask 'why?'

what happens when you've learned the routines, the dating ones, the protocols and suffer through endless episodes of the same repeated disappointment, tortured circular reflection only to discover that all along he wanted exactly what you wanted (deep down inside, not what you'd convinced yourself you wanted) theres a letdown in that he should want what you were half-hardheartedly offering but didnt, he wanted to give you exactly what you wanted - a relationship free of commitment, one free of compromise, one free of any obligation and restriction. but did he not want that from you? the circular logic kicks back into gear and turns its gaze back onto oneself - was I not good enough to expect or want that from?  after three long arduous (at points) months it has come right back to what you wanted from the beginning and cant stop asking 'why?'